There are some people who could harbor a grudge against you.
Whose side are you on?
[Narrator] Buck's experiences must be relived using mind probes...
In an attempt to solve the mysterious riddle...
That promises imminent doom to the Earth.
Eat lead, sucker.
The only ones who can stop us are our enemies!
[Man Narrating] The year is 1987,
and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes.
In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers,
are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems...
And returns Buck Rogers to Earth...
500 years later.
[Alarm Beeping] Dr. Huer, what's going on?
The entire complex is under alert. Yes, I know.
[Beeping Continues]
Ten minutes ago, our orbital defense system...
Registered the presence of hundreds of alien objects in Earth's orbit.
Our scanners say that they're out there.
But our fighter squadrons have made no visual contact.
Could something be jamming their sensors?
Perhaps. I don't know. But it's highly unlikely.
[Mysterious Humming]
Doctor, my sensors detect...
A tightly focused energy beam penetrating our...
Oh, dear.
[Humming]
[Humming Continues]
[Chirping] Doesn't anybody bother to knock anymore?
Dr. Theopolis, what is it?
Unknown, Doctor.
My sensors are unable to penetrate its exterior.
However, in light of its unusual materialization,
I would suggest securing the entire Directorate Complex immediately.
[Chirping] Good idea. I'll secure the basement.
- No, Twiki. - Aw, rats.
It's impossible!
This object does not register on my sensor.
This may sound crazy, but have you considered touching that thing?
- Touching it? - [Buck] Yeah, it may not be a weapon at all.
Maybe it's some kind of communication device, touch-activated.
- That could be awfully risky, Buck. - Would you rather leave it here, turn it into a plant stand?
After all, Doc, your sensors aren't doing any good.
What have you got to lose? [Theo] Nothing, really.
Whoever sent it here has obviously developed...
A highly sophisticated method of matter transmission.
Anyone capable of that, could have killed us all long ago.
I think Buck's suggestion is a good one.
Well, here goes.
Wait, Buck.
Be careful, please.
Yeah, well, what do I know?
[Chirping] Killed by a yo-yo. What a way to go.
You're right, Buck. It is a communicating device.
Look what it's communicating.
"The man out of old Earth's past"...
"Has the key to the next and the last."
"But you won't solve this riddle"...
"Till the end is the middle"...
[Buck] "And Terran sands disappear with a blast."
[Dr. Huer] That last line sounds ominous.
[Wilma] Whoever sent this could teleport an entire starfleet into the Earth's orbit...
And decimate us before we had a chance to scramble a single fighter squadron.
Why haven't they done it already? Hmm.
[Buck] Why are they playing games, writing limericks?
"Limericks"? Yeah, limericks.
An old and honorable form ofliterature, Wilma.
Hmm. It goes back even before my time.
Obviously, the puzzle was specifically geared to you, Buck.
"The man out of old Earth's past'..
Is a clear reference to you.
[Buck] Yeah, I know.
It says I hold the key to the first and the last.
Which means...
To the life and the death of the Earth.
[Dr. Huer] While we're using the psych-probes, we'll be able to refer to this mysterious...
is it limerick? Mm-hmm.
I'm sure that you know, as well as I do,
that there are some people who could harbor a grudge against you.
This scan will help us select the most likely candidates.
So just lie back and relax.
Let your mind drift.
That's it.
Well, that's enough drifting for now.
Perhaps you could concentrate on one or two of the words in the riddle...
That might trigger some memories.
[Buck] Well, let's see. There's the thing about the key.
We used a lot of keys...
When we rescued that girl Falina from Sinaloa.
Where have you been? Never mind that. Carl Morphus just arrived.
Oh, terrific. That's about as good as the news I've got.
Couldn't you get anything out of that man that was following you?
Yeah, I know exactly where they're keeping Falina. Well, that's good news.
I also found out it's virtually impossible to get there...
Without one of four existing keys. Oh, no.
I was gonna try to lift one off Sanitation Module 07,
but it doesn't make its rounds till after midnight.
And if Morphus is here now, we might as well start packing.
- Buck, who else has a key? - A couple of Velosi's goons.
And Velosi? Naturally.
Marla? You'll have to wait just a minute.
I don't like to wait.
And with this, I rarely have to.
I thought you'd feel that way.
I'm sorry to spoil your plans this evening, Mr. Velosi.
Yes, I am disappointed.
Until now.
Kill her!
- Please, don't move. - Come on!
Now, stand over there with your boss. Move! Come on, move.
I'll just take that key you're so proud of, Mr. Velosi.
You both will die before you leave the city.
You think so, huh?
Okay, get over there. Come on, move!
If I were you, I'd worry more about how you were going to get out of here.
All right, let's go.
Get down to the ship and prepare for takeoff. I'll get Falina.
You got the detonator? I'm all set. I'll see you at the ship.
Why, Buck Rogers. What are you and that lady up to?
Later, Tangie. Looks to me like it's something very dishonest.
I don't have time. If you don't help me buy my way out of this city,
Security's gonna get a call from me. Next time I'm in town.
You won't get away with it!
I want you to close your eyes.
Very soon you shall find yourself afloat in a sea of color and sounds.
And then blackness, and then everything...
everything shall come to an end.
[Alarm Blaring]
[Alarm Continues]
Name is Buck Rogers. He just hit the alarm. Let's get outta here.
[Alarm Continues]
[Continues Blaring]
Morgan Velosi is a formidable opponent in his home territory,
but he hardly commands the resources necessary...
To mount a massive attack on the Earth.
All right, let's look at the limerick again.
That last line..."And Terran sands disappear in a blast."
All that sand, desert...
Sounds like Zeta Minor.
And come to think of it, Zeta Minor started with a blast too.
I hope you're wearing your climbing shoes because I think that elevator's out of order.
Come on! [Android Guard] Escape is not possible.
Prisoners will report to the dayroom.
Escape is not possible. Prisoners will report to the dayroom.
Escape is not possible.
Jen, you've been in there for 10 months.
He's never gonna spring you out.
He's gonna leave you and the secrets of those murders buried in there forever.
I don't care about you, so stop pretending you care about me...
And who I am and why I am and just leave me alone.
Sand squid!
You got him. Come on.
[Squeaking] Buck!
Oh, hi.
Can we talk about this?
[Buck Groaning]
- [Jen Gasps] - Okay, big guy, come on.
[Gasps]
Sometimes a frontal assault works best. All right, move.
Get over there.
You all right? I'm fine.
Rescuing you is getting to be a full-time occupation. All right, all of you,
we're marching out of here single file.
Not quite, Colonel. Drop your weapons now!
Of course, frontal assaults do have their drawbacks.
[Android Roaring]
[Screams]
[Buck] Why is he after me, Wilma? What is it?
- It's your bracelet. - Oh, it is, huh?
No!
Be my guest.
According to my locator banks,
the android Hugo is still at large somewhere on Zeta Minor.
I suggest we proceed, Buck.
We really must continue, Dr. Huer.
Hmm. Well, so much for him. [Beeping]
What's that?
The sensors in my office.
They were keyed to that strange object.
- [Wilma] It's gone.! - [Twiki Chirping]
Well, so much for the yo-yo. I'll be going now.
Sorry, Twiki.
I think everything's far from over. In fact, I think it's just beginning.
[Beeping]
It seems the object has served its function.
I wonder what else we can expect?
Let's get on with this.
I got a feeling we don't have much time. How about Roderick Zale,
the guy who kidnapped Hieronymus Fox of Genesia?
Zale is certainly resourceful enough...
And, quite possibly, ruthless enough.
Greetings, Mr. President. My name is...
Your name is Roderick Zale.
Your specialty is political abduction,
and your modus operandi sticks out like a sore thumb.
Half the galaxy probably knows you're the one who snatched me.
You're as perceptive as I was told.
- How much you askin' for me? - A reasonable price...
6,000 kilograms of pure quadrillium.
[Chuckles]
Ain't no way the Genesians are gonna cough up that much loot, pal.
I don't even think we got that much quadrillium on the whole planet.
Then they'd better find it somewhere.
Or within a week, their technological miracle worker will die.
Aw, come on, Zale.
I'm worth more to you alive than dead any day of the week.
Even if the Genesians don't pay up,
you can make a fortune selling my brains to the highest bidder.
So don't give me any of that Dr. Doom jive.
You'd better take pretty good care of me...
If you know what's good for you, starting right now.
We're not gonna tell him where the kid is, and that's that.
But, Buck, they'll kill us. [Zale] The woman's right, Rogers.
If you do know where the president is hiding, you'd better tell us.
Otherwise, you'll both die very shortly.
And if we do tell you, we'll probably still die, won't we?
There are many ways to die, long and short.
Uh-oh.
Uh... Uh, hi there.
I bet you're wondering what I'm doing in your parcel bin.
Actually, I'm not a real person at all.
I'm a doll. That's it.
Uh, a preprogrammed, cybernetic doll. My name is Ken.
Uh, Mr. President, are you all right?
Before I answer that, whose side are you on?
Yours. Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate.
How did you get away from Zale?
Uh, nothing to it. I did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries.
Well, I guess I'm a little late.
Nope, you're just in time.
Now, my bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran.
She and somebody named Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place right now.
- Buck? - Yeah, and if we don't get back there and help 'em,
they're both gonna get wasted.
You know what "wasted" means?
Sorry. Can't let you do that.
I'm terribly sorry about this, Captain, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you.
Koren to Zale. Come in, Zale. Mr. Zale!
- Mr. Zale. - Maybe he slipped back under his rock.
Shut up or I'll kill you right here and now.
I think she might have something to say about that.
That one is almost as old as you are.
Old but true, Mr. Koren.
Mighty nice shootin', Colonel.
Thank you, Mr. President.
True, Roderick Zale is a cunning and dangerous criminal,
but his personality index would seem to indicate a cold-blooded pragmatist...
Not inclined to seek revenge on such a grandiose scale.
[Chirping] You wanna run that by me again?
- I said, "Roderick Zale..." - Forget it.
"Till the end is the middle."
Now, what is that supposed to mean?
This is like trying to work your way through a maze. It's almost byzantine.
Hmm, byzantine, byzantine.
Zantia!
That started off with kind of a puzzle...
a Mayday from two women on board a space yacht.
[Sighs] Let's take a crack at that.
This is Earth starfighter 1314. I'm approaching at 50 degrees.
This is the space yacht Aurora. We have you on scanner.
Uh, do you have video transmission capability? [Buck] Sure do.
How's that?
Oh, fine. Couldn't be much better.
You're to follow the yellow landing tracer to Docking Area 2.
The slightest variation from that course will result in your destruction.
Zantia Landing Control out.
Thanks. Welcome to Zantia.
[Chattering] [Auctioneer] Ladies, please get ready.
We'll start the bidding at 400.
This prime Terran male is an excellent investment.
Sixteen hundred from the unseen lady on monitor four!
Do I see more?
Twenty-two hundred.
Three thousand.! Three thousand on the monitor from bidder number four.
Do I hear more? The bid is now 4,000.
Do I hear five?
Ten thousand.!
Twelve thousand! Going once, going twice...
Twenty thousand! Do I hear more?
Going once at 20,000.
Going twice at 20,000.
Sold to bidder number four for 20,000 credits.!
- [Woman Screaming] - Come on, let's go!
They're not gonna stay unconscious for long. Let's get outta here.
Move!
Hang on.
Buck Rogers to Escort Leader, do you read?
Leader to ES-1314, I've gotcha on the scanner.
- Who's that? Major Norris? - Affirmative.
What are you doing up here, Captain Rogers?
This is Colonel Deering. Don't listen to him, Major.
- Wilma? - I know what you intend to do, Buck and I can't let you do it.
[Buck] Wilma, don't try to stop me.
What you're doing will force the Earth and Ruatha to go to war.
You're jeopardizing thousands and thousands of lives.
- [Norris] Colonel Deering... - There's too much at stake, Major.
Open fire.
Full pulsars. Wilma, listen to me. I know what I'm doing.
- [Wilma] You're sending us into war! - [Buck] You know me, trust me.
He's hit.
I think Zantia is a dead end, Buck.
[Theo] I tend to agree, Colonel.
[Beeping]
Our sensors have picked up another energy beam heading straight for...
- [Object Humming] - Good heavens.
[Humming Continues]
[Continues Humming]
- Here we go again. - What is it?
It looks like an hourglass.
It's a device for measuring time.
From the looks of this one, we only have a couple of hours until it runs out.
Do you think somebody's trying to tell us something?
There's not a lot of time left.
Wilma, think about Corliss and Roxanne.
Mm-hmm. The last time they were going to use ancient nerve gas...
To poison our atmosphere and to destroy it.
And we needed Noah Cooper's help in penetrating Necrosis asteroids.
Stay close behind me and do exactly what I do.
Watch for falling rocks. [Sighs]
Enemy craft approaching. They're moving through the asteroids.
Okay, start breathing again, everyone.
- [Beeping] - Stop breathing. We got company.
Tight "T" formation. Look alive, tail gunners.
- You take over. - Got it.
Nice shot, Big Red. It looks like they're sending up reinforcements.
We'll retreat temporarily to the asteroids.
[Man] You will surrender at once or be destroyed.
Proceed to vector 9-4KV, Coordinate C.
We will tractor beam you into the hangar.
[Big Red] You hear that, Noah?
- They've been captured. - I heard.
- What do we do, Noah? - What can we do? We've lost them.
We've lost 'em.
Have you ever been in a fire, Rogers?
Or should I say, have you ever been on fire?
No, I can't say that I have.
- Do you know what pain is, Rogers? - There are all kinds of pain.
No. I'm talking about a pain that's so intense,
the only way you can stop it is to have its source removed.
How you're going to wish we had surrendered, Colonel Deering.
All right, everybody, just keep it quiet.
Steady.
- [Beeping] - Bomb away.
Wilma, get the door! You, get over there!
- You missed. - We saw, Big Red.
Come on back up. Now it's our turn.
Hold it steady. We're almost there.
Second enemy bomber approaching!
We're trapped in here.
Ready? Right. Hang on.
Bomb away.
This one's gonna hit!
[Buck] Theo, where are Roxanne and Corliss now?
According to our locator banks,
they are both in the detention-rehabilitation complex on Lycaste Alba.
So much for that theory.
Wait a minute. What about our man with the magic hands?
The slave master? Hmm? Kaleel. Mm-hmm.
Let me see. That was on, um, Vistula...
When we went to investigate the poisoning...
Of the Earth's food supplies.
[Kaleel] So...
We will descend upon the Earth like meteors!
Like a fire!
The only ones who can stop us...
Are those enemies among us,
those who are weak and faithless!
Those who do not believe...
these are our enemies!
Get down! Don't either one of you raise even a hair.
Get down.
Good heavens. What was that?
Be careful.
[Gasps]
[Wilma] Sorry, Buck.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
- No thanks to our host. - The almighty Kaleel, I presume.
- And you are? - Captain Buck Rogers.
Let's just get rid of him.
Rest assured...
He and Colonel Deering will meet the same fate as Ryma.
But first things first.
Now that Earth knows of my plan, what do your people intend to do?
Prepare for your attack, naturally.
And with our remaining forces, we'll give you a reception you'll not soon forget.
You are lying!
All right now, keep your eyes on that turkey in the back. He's the one we want.
We're gonna go right up the middle. You guys open a hole, I'll nail him.
Okay, guards, take out these tackles.
Stop them, you fools!
Hey, nice double-teaming over there, whoever you are.
- Gordon's the name. Thanks. - Have we met, Gordon?
I don't think so, Captain. We're from different times.
[Chirping] Eat lead, sucker.
Lead? What lead? Twiki, what are you talking about?
- Nice shooting, Captain Rogers. - Thanks, Major, Twiki.
Gordon, where did you learn to shoot like that?
I've been doing that sort of thing since before you were born, Captain.
- You think so, huh? - Young man, I know so.
Come on, gang. We've got some cleaning up to do downstairs.
According to our locators,
Kaleel escaped from the revolutionaries who captured him...
And now wanders the Vistulan desert...
Trying to enlist its inhabitants as followers.
A harmless lunatic.
Hmm.
Hop out of there a second. I've got an idea.
It's all yours.
[Sighs] Remember the Legion of Death?
In order to infiltrate them, I had to take on the identity of an assassin...
Rafael Argus.
Rafael Argus?
Three months ago you killed a man named Gleeson.
Let me guess. Uh, he was your, uh...
- Brother. - I knew it'd be something like that.
To destroy a city that large, you'd need an earthquake or a tidal wave.
Or an antimatter explosion.
- You're joking, of course. - Far from it.
New Chicago receives its power from a contra-terrene generating plant...
Located in the wasteland outside the city.
And if someone were to sabotage that reactor,
allowing the matter and antimatter...
To mix uncontrollably...
And everything for 200 square kilometers...
Would be atomized instantly. [Laughs]
Very good, Kellogg.
[Chuckling]
Come on.
Varek, go in there and dispose of him.
They'll think that was you.
Why'd you do that?
This is why.
This is who I am.
[Groans]
The thing about Kellogg is,
he wouldn't waste time with these riddles.
He'd want me to know up front that it was him...
And how he was going to kill me and how much it would hurt.
So we're back where we started.
Yeah, except...
The hourglass is almost empty.
All right, it's your turn now, Twiki.
Let's see if your memory bank can help us any.
Now, hold still. [Chirping] You're tickling me.
I'm not tickling you. Hold still. You are.
Twiki, you're supposed to be remembering what happened on the Lyran Queen.
All right.
[Over P. A.] This is your captain speaking.
Now that all our passengers are aboard, we're accelerating to light speed...
For a slow, leisurely cruise to Stargate 1.
After leaving the star gate, we'll enter the Vega system...
Where we'll make our first stop on Sutter's World, Yes. How do you do?
A planet renowned for its fair climate,
colorful indigents and remarkable hospitality.
[Chirping] Wilma's looking real foxy.
[Chirping] Something from the bar, sir?
[Chirping] Hold the phone.
[Chirping]
You'll have to excuse me for staring.
I've never met a 500-year-old man before.
Oh, that's all right. I've never met a genetically perfect woman before either.
Mmm.
Think of the permutations.
[Chuckling]
[Continues Chuckling]
[Sighs]
Stupid, weak, sniveling little creature.
How do you put up with her?
I like part of her.
My part, you mean?
[Theo] What you are suggesting, Buck,
is that Alison Michaels is a trans-mute...
a split personality with the genetic ability to transform itself...
In times of stress, into one of two or more separate entities.
All we have is a theory. We can't act without evidence.
- Then what we have to do is capture her as Sabrina. - Oh.
[Disco] [Laughing, Chattering]
[Chirping] What a good dancer you are, Twiki.
Buck taught me all I know.
They call this one the bump.
[Chirping] Uh-oh.
I've never seen a dance like that before, Twiki.
[Continues]
[Sighs] Well, that's all we can do for now.
The laser will draw power from the ship very slowly...
So that the monitors will not detect.
When it peaks, the laser will be in full effect,
and its blade will start dissecting her quite automatically.
[Chirping]
Hi, guys.
What's the matter, Twiki? It's only 0300 hours.
I'm bushed.
[Theo] Nowjust a minute, Twiki.
If you think you're going to retire for the evening...
Without hearing from me, you're quite incorrect.
Your behavior, ever since you set foot on this ship,
has been abominable.
Twiki? Twiki? Twiki?
Twiki.!
Well, we've only got one candidate left.
But all this hardly seems to be her style.
What do you mean not her style?
She's ruthless, arrogant and power hungry.
Yeah, but aside from all that, what's wrong with her?
[Wilma] Anything about it look familiar, Buck?
Negative. I've never seen anything like it. Did you hear that, Dr. Huer?
[Dr. Huer] Wherever it came from, it is now sustaining a position directly over New Chicago.
We can only assume it's some kind of weapon, so destroy it, now.!
Yes, sir.
Our pulsars have no effect!
Activate Omega defense program immediately!
[Wilma] It's glowing.!
Dr. Huer, it's releasing a beam of energy!
[Disco]
[Continues]
Very shortly, I will succeed my father to the throne of Draconia.
And according to our laws, within a year of doing so,
I must wed the most physically and genetically sound human male available...
Or lose my throne to a successor.
Well, I have found just such a man...
Right here on Earth.
And unless you turn him over to me for the wedding ceremony,
our pyramid weapon will destroy the Earth...
City by city by city.
That man, of course, is Captain Buck Rogers.
[Sighs]
Tribal courtship rituals can be fascinating.
Tell me, just out of curiosity,
what happens in phases two and three?
In the second phase, you prove your worthiness for me...
By competing in the arena with Tigerman. Hmm.
Of course, if you win tomorrow,
the third phase will take place at noon.
The great event itself... the wedding ceremony.
[Grunting]
[Groans]
[Shouts]
[Growling]
[Continues Growling]
[Groans]
[Panting]
You will bejoined with Princess Ardala forever.
He's destroying the weapon. Do something!
- All right, Doc, I'm getting a power feedback now. - Buck, get out of there.
Of course, I hate to admit this, but even Princess Ardala...
Wouldn't slaughter innocent people without a reason.
If this were all her doing, I think we... [Beeping]
- [Beeping Continues] - Good Lord!
- Is something else gonna materialize? - Yes.
Whoever's responsible uses a directional beam...
To lock in coordinates for materialization.
This precedes the teleport beam by several minutes.
Now, according to our sensors,
the next object is due to materialize...
In your apartment, Buck.
[Chirping] It's the killer yo-yo.
[Buck] No, I don't think so, Twiki.
What in the galaxy...
Hamburgers, french fries, milk shakes and champagne.
No, it can't be.
[Party Horns Blowing, Laughing, Chattering]
- Dr. Huer, what day is today? - Uh, it's Deckel 31, isn't it?
- Yeah. - Deckel. December.
December 31. It's New Year's Eve!
And there's only one other person in the galaxy who'd know what that means.
Right on, Buck. I knew you'd figure it out.
- Hieronymus. - Happy New Year, guys.
Hey, what do you think of my new matter transmitter?
I wanted to give it a test over long distances,
so I thought I'd send you a little New Year's present.
- And a riddle. - It beats crossword puzzles.
- Cross what? - Forget it, Doc. It'd take hours to explain.
Hieronymus, your matter transmitter's a great idea, but it's still got a few bugs.
Oh, yeah. It creates one heck of a magnetic field, doesn't it?
Hope it didn't bollix up any of your alarm systems.
Oh, no. The whole planet's on general alert, that's all.
Oops. Back to the drawing board.
That entire riddle was just about New Year's Eve, wasn't it?
Right. The first line was about you... "The man out of old Earth's past."
"Has the key to the next and the last"?
Sure. Buck would know about an hourglass,
which was going to be the next thing that I sent you,
after the last thing, which was the riddle...
a real, live 20th-century limerick.
[Chirping] Tricky little devil, ain't ya?
- [Chuckles] - "But you won't solve this riddle till the end is the middle."
Ah, of course. The end of the old year, the middle of the night.
- Midnight. - And the Terran sands disappearing...
Is the hourglass you sent us.
When the sands disappear, they disappear with a...
A blast. Meaning a party.
And what's a party without milk shakes and bubbly...
And fries and Rigellian lizard burgers?
"Lizard burgers."
- [Chuckles] - Hit it, maestro!
[Disco]
["Auld Lang Syne"] I wish I knew how he did that.
I gotta run, gang. These transgalatic phone calls add up.
Have yourselves a happy one...
And wait till you see my riddle next year!
- Bye. - Next year?
There's plenty of time to worry about that later.
For now, though, how about some good, old-fashioned Genesian bubbly?
Was 2490 a good year?
How could it be? You weren't even around.
[Laughing]
[Pops]